Kundalini yoga - teacher training - first weekend!

Since we are on vacation in Portugal right now, I have some time to reflect upon my first weekend in the kundalini yoga teacher training. It was only the first in 13 weekends but I have to say, it's been an eventful one. And certainly one that had me go through very mixed feelings - sometimes doubting whether I made the right decision in joining...
Let's start from the beginning: we were supposed to arrive for dinner in Friday at 6.30 - the training takes place in the middle of nowhere, about 30 minutes outside Munich but since we start at 5.30AM on Saturday there is no point in trying to commute. Everyone stays on site and all meals are served on site too. I guess you could call it 'retreat style' training. At least I made sure to get a single room- many of the other student are in a group dormitory...
After we did an intro round - which took pretty long with 37 participants plus teachers- we started doing a moving meditation. Everything seemed a little foreign and too spiritual for me and I had a hard time falling asleep that night. We met again at 5.30AM for the sadhana which I learned translates to 'discipline'- a fitting description when you take into consideration that it's recommended to take a cold shower after you get up and then recite mantras and do yoga for 2.5 hours before breakfast!
Turns out there is much more reading and mantra singing involved than I was expecting. I was hoping to move more but the traditional sadhana consists of first reading the jap chi - one of the holy Sikh texts - which to be honest is really, really boring and tiring and then starting a series of kundalini yoga exercises (thank god - that's what I came for) and then another hour of chanting mantras. Fortunately there was an amazing guitar player who made that part more entertaining - but on my own I could never see myself doing that. Especially not every day - sounds like the program at a monastery or convent to be honest. I guess I'm not there yet... Not sure if I'll ever get there. Still, I have to say that there was something to be said for the whole experience - it's just that it was a little too much for me to continue with our class the whole day afterwards. We learned a lot about the history and background if kundalini and the set up of a class. It's soooo much stricter than a vinyasa class which us where u am struggling - I'd like to be able to infuse kundalini elements into a vinyasa class - I think that could be quite rewarding. But of course the teachers tell you that the classes inspired by yogi bhajan need to stay 'pure' and there is a certain energy that should not be disturbed. I am not 100% convinced yet. But after some back and forth in my head I decided to pursue the training in spite if some doubts - I keep remembering what I learned about Ayurveda - the principle of applying the opposite. While I really enjoy the physical part of yoga what I need the most is the meditative, breathing exercise that helps me calm down my sometimes crazily active mind... And since kundalini focuses a lot on these aspects, it's a good way to round out my own practice but also become more well rounded as a teacher. I just struggle with some aspects, such as having to dress all in white and wearing a turban - I've come to appreciate the significance but I think this kind of a dress code is also slightly limiting and might scare some beginners away... Although what was fascinating is that I had a terrible headache all day on Saturday and Sunday morning one if my course mates said, try tying a scarf really tightly around your head and that way the head will stop hurting -it seemed very odd to me but it worked and that was all that mattered at that moment. Similarly, I was feeling very sick to my stomach the night before and almost thought I would have to go home but I now feel like there was some detoxification process going on and after u went through it, I'm now feeling so much better. We did a class in Sunday that was supposed to make us feel more grounded- it was all focused on the third chakra, the navel point and I realizes it really worked for me - I felt like another person after the class... If I could help bring such an effect to others, I wouldn't mind being dressed in white ... ;-) well, let's see how things turn out. We don't have another weekend class until January so I'll be experimenting with my own sadhana until then. I would like to include a meditation but still do some vinyasa asanas - I think that's enough of a challenge for me anyway. Will tell you in 40 days if i was able to stick to it...